Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
