the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
