If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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