Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
