I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
