Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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