i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
