It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
