Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
