Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
