I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
