Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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