I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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