Screwed.edu
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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