Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
