This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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