between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
