According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm bleeding and have questions
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
