I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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