I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
