Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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