dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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