I think scott just propositioned me for sex
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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