I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
