Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
