Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
