how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
