Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
