you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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