I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
