Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
