so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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