Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
