He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want to make out with him forever
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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