How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
