Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
