Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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