Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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