There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my liver is dry heaving
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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