i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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