You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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