So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
