they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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