She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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