you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's just like the Real World with babies
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
