Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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