it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
