I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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