Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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