She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
