She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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