Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
