I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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