I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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