I just saw a hot homeless man
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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