Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
