If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
