i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
