I want you more than these girls want KFC
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
