Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
