Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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