He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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