I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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