Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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