Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
