I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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